


Brothers in Love and Self-Deprication

by curliestFry



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Flush Crush, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Post-Sburb/Sgrub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 16:23:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3388361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curliestFry/pseuds/curliestFry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat Vantas and Sollux Captor already had a lot in common, but once the game is over and their flush crushes become friends, they have even more. And friends who have crushes together, stay together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brothers in Love and Self-Deprication

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a oneshot dedicated to my OTP and my one of my friend's favorite ships. It is packed with my personal theories and headcanons, sorry about that. I hope you don't mind little person, asexual Feferi and my ideas for the group's lives post-game. Enjoy!

Karkat Vantas and Sollux Captor have always gotten along relatively well as friends. They both complained to one another about their lusii when they were younger, have an interest in hacking and computers (though Sollux is infinitely better at it), and have a shared trait of horrific and perpetual self loathing. Neither of them gave the other any shit about their mutant blood or lost vision during the game, either. There is a mutual respect.

They also both have deep, bright red feelings for girls they think they’ll never manage to attain, and are too spineless to say how they really feel. It’s almost pathetic how infatuated the two of them are, really.

Karkat’s feelings for a one Jade Harley had always been on the back burner, deliberately ignored while she played through her session, and even after he’d joined hers himself with the other trolls and the alpha kids. There had been a mission, an agenda, and a team to lead. He’d had to put that first.

But now they’d won the game, and because they’d all come from different sessions, had played together, and none had gotten The Ultimate Reward, the betas’ victory had been shared. Now they were all gods of what would soon be a whole new functioning universe, the dead brought back just in the nick of time to walk through the door with those who’d stayed alive. The group had only recently finished the enormous communal hive stem that they had constructed together, which had small hives for each kid or troll to have to themselves that were connected by hallways to a common area. Which meant that he now has all the time to think about Jade Harley in the world, and can be tortured by the fact that she is only a short walk away at any given time.

Sollux had merely repressed any feelings for Feferi Peixes after she had died by Eridan’s hands. He was living, she was dead; he was a lowblood, she was royalty. It would never work out. But then John fucking Egbert showed up via retcon with the Ring of Life and a very much alive Feferi, and he had realized with a start that he’d missed her, with her tiny, cheerful self who was always so stupidly nice to him. He did not miss the fact that his bloodpusher threatened to burst when she had congratulated him on the healing of his sight and repairment of his teeth so that he no longer had a lisp, and that his thinkpan had decided to no longer work when she wrapped her arms around his legs to give him a hug. And that nothing has changed since.

The main reason that they started becoming close again, though, was that fate had to stick both of them in the ass and make Jade and Feferi become moirails.

It wasn’t the first, nor the only pale relationship that included humans amongst them. Jade had been delighted to meet all of the trolls that had been resurrected, and pretty soon she and the fuschia blooded girl had realized how much they had in common, and after that things had more or less taken care of themselves. Now the two of them hang out all the time, more pleasant in combination than many can bear, playing around like wigglers at times and more or less parenting at others. They happen to be acting the former when Karkat bursts into Sollux’s respiteblock with wide eyes and candy red cheeks.

“You are *never* going to believe this.”

His gold blooded comrade doesn’t look up from the husktop in his lap. “What won’t I believe.” He says the question as more of a statement. Karkat has a nasty habit for overreacting.

This time, though, it is not at all an overreaction. “Jade and Feferi decided to do all of their laundry at once. They are now, for some nookstained, backwards ass reason, loping around in only their bras and shorts.”

The husktop nearly falls on the floor, and Sollux flails to catch it and set it beside him. “You’re shitting me,” he says, his voice a little bit high. “Well? You’re the fearless leader, show me, preferably right the fuck now.”

“Sure. And what am I supposed to say? “Hey, don’t mind us, we’re just here to ogle you like a bunch of brainless gillbeasts”?”

“No, you don’t say anything. Come on, it’ll be fine.” He adjusts his red and blue glasses before striding down the hallway, not bothering to see if Karkat is following or not.

Jade and Feferi are out in the gardens when Sollux and Karkat find them; a necessary addition to their new home, as they now have twenty mouths to feed, as well as one of the island girl’s favorite places to be. They’re tending to the heads of lettuce, and making sure that the saplings that will someday be apple and orange trees have been managing to keep themselves upright, talking animatedly with one another. Sure enough, other than a pair of running shorts and a bathing suit top, they’re otherwise lacking in clothes, not seeming to mind the soil between their toes or the sun hitting their mostly bare backs. Feferi is the one who spots the two males first, offering them a wide smile. “Hi Sollux! Hi Karkat! Water you buoys up to?”

“Hey, FF.” Sollux returns her grin with a half smile, too small for her to see that it’s nervous. “Nothing much. We’re just bored, so we’ve been walking around.” One of his ears from the smaller of the two sets twitches- it’s his tell, but only one or two people have noticed the habit, and thankfully Feferi isn’t one of them.

“I sea,” she says, nodding, then frowns in confusion at them. “Were Roxy and Kanaya busy or somefin?”

It’s Karkat that saves them this time. “We haven’t bothered to check, actually. They could probably use a break from us anyway, though.” He glances at the side of Sollux’s face, and sees him wincing ever so slightly behind his glasses. The psionic troll always worried about discussing Roxy with his flush crush, and for good reason, too. The two of them were another pair of human/troll moirails, which hadn’t bothered anyone in the slightest...that is, until they became moirails with benefits, which both species thought was incredibly taboo for a number of reasons. Most people had accepted it after a bit, but still.

It’s almost like his romance novels, Karkat often thinks. A passive troll’s physical relationship with a human partner giving him a bad reputation towards whom his red affection waxes- ie, the only sex repulsed troll in the history of paradox space. Not to mention he’s in a kismesitude with her ex moirail.

Karkat Vantas and Sollux Captor also share a bad history of maintaining stability in the quadrants department.

Luckily, Jade decides to join the conversation at that exact moment, bounding over and wiping the dirt off her hands. “Well then, you’re more than welcome to spend the day with us, if you like!” Her white dog ears perk up.

“Yeah! We’re going to go swimming, and then Jade and I are having a campout!” Feferi adds. “You guys can join in, we have extra sleeping bags.”

The two males blank. Spend the _entire_ day and spend the night with them? While they’re _half naked_? With _nobody else_? They give one another a look that says something along the lines of: _Are we in heaven, or hell right now?_ because this is a heavenly opportunity to placate their unreasonable need to be with the recipients of their red feelings, but also hell in that they have to see them wet, wearing barely any clothes and sleep with them and not do anything about it.

“Sure.” Karkat and Sollux reply together, trying not to let the girls see that they’re hyperventilating on the inside. Sollux’s hand itches for his inhaler, but he leaves it be, digging his heel into the ground instead.

Jade and Feferi’s easy smiles erupt into grins.

“Great!” Jade squeals, then her smile falters. “I don’t suppose either of you have swimsuits?”

They don’t, but it doesn’t matter because Feferi waves them off. “Don’t be sealy. Eridan has lots of them, I’m sure he won’t miss a couple of pairs being gone.” She gives Sollux a sly grin, and it takes him a minute to realize that she’s helping him irritate his kismesis. He blushes, and she giggles, her seadweller ears wiggling in her amusement. She’s only about three foot something and half his size, but the gold blood suddenly feels very small and as though he may faint.  
After going to Eridan’s respiteblock and finding trunks that could tie tight enough around Sollux’s and Karkat’s waists without falling of their own accord, the four of them go to the pool on the other side of the hive, which happened to be just outside of the sea dwellers’ living spaces. It was one of the longest things to build, running to 18 feet deep at the deepest end, with a waterfall that had a cave with a hot pool behind it in the rock and a center area with a fire pit and seating for at least a dozen people. ((http://images.rapgenius.com/9cdf6thpzmntf2850aw29f4w2.750x498x1.jpg ))

Feferi Peixes does not fuck around when it comes to swimming pools.

It takes no time for the fuschia blood to jump into the water, laughing and swimming around. Jade jumps in next, taking a running start and doing a cannonball. After hemming and hawing for a moment Karkat follows, tossing his sweater onto a nearby chair and getting in on the steps, like a mature person (though it just makes him look like a stick in the mud), and Sollux settles for leaving his shirt on and watching with his legs dangling in the water.

Karkat has to learn to not hate getting his hair wet for a while, but pretty soon he’s smiling and swimming, legitimately enjoying himself. After a few minutes, though, he notices Jade keeps staring at him.

“Do I have something on my face, Harley?” he shouts over the waterfall, and her ears tilt back in embarrassment. She swims over to him and gives him a sheepish smile, shaking her head.

“No, it’s just-” Her face twists, trying to find the words. “I’ve never seen you without a big sweater on. Like, without a shirt.” Is she blushing? Holy shit, yes, she’s actually blushing.

Except Karkat’s blushing too, though, like, _really_ hard. “So what?” Oh god, he sounds like he’s choking. The smoothest guy ever, hands down.

 She must have heard his voice crack, because her smile grows. “So, we don’t look the same, dummy! I mean, I knew you didn’t have a belly button, but your muscles aren’t the same, either.” Her hand reaches out carefully and strokes the dark marks on his sides, almost maroon from his blood color. “What are these?”

He emits a noise the sounds like a squeak. “Uh. They’re, um. It’s just thick plating, to keep your ribs from breaking like porcelain during battle.” His ears fold back against his head.

Sollux smirks and mouths “Get some,” from his seat on the side, and Karkat has to restrain from growling at him. “Feferi’s been shirtless all day, why didn’t you ask her?” he inquires, almost wheezing. Her hands have moved to his chest, her brow puckering as they run over where nipples would be were he a human. Trolls are so weird.

“Her torso is more condensed, plus you’re taller and easier to see.” Her statement is matter-of-fact.

His eyes dart to find a way out of this embarrassment, and come to rest on her belly button. “Like your human characteristics aren’t weird?” he retorts. “What even is that hole on your stomach?” One of his fingers gives it an accusatory poke, and Jade startles everyone by laughing loudly, swatting his hand away.

“D-don’t do that, it tickles,” she insists through her giggling, and freezes when a wide, devious smirk illuminates Karkat’s face. “No...nononono, you better not fucking-”

It’s too late. He pounces forward and begins to mercilessly tickle her stomach and sides, causing her to squirm and coil, giggling and begging for him to stop. After about a minute of this she resorts to evasive maneuvers, yanking by the arm and pulling him underwater.

He comes back up with a gasp, shaking his hair out of his face. "You...are an asshole," he says breathlessly, but he's grinning.

Meanwhile, Feferi is trying to get Sollux into the water at all. She treads water in front of him, giving him a pout. "C'mon, Sollux, get in."

"I'm good right here, thanks."

That answer displeases the heiress, and she swims over to where he's sitting, crawling up and standing on his submerged foot and leveraging up, holding herself steady by grabbing onto his elbow. "You're such a guppy sometimes. Please?"

Wow, she's close. "FF, you know pretty damn well I'm not the outdoorsy type by now." He swings her on the foot she's standing on.

Feferi resorts to scare tactics. "I will splash you until you get in, you know."

Sollux looks over and Karkat and Jade, who are currently having a splash fight by the waterfall. He curls his lip. "Fine, just promise not to splash me after I'm in, either."

"Shore," she chirps, agreeing to his terms, and as soon as his glasses have been set down she yanks back on the arm she's holding, pulling him with her into the pool.

He surfaces coughing up water, glaring at her. "That was a cheap shot, FF, I hope you know that. Now I may die from swallowing too much chlorine."

"It's salt water, Sollux, that's a bunch of carp."

"Whatever." A smirk rises to his face, and he dips his head underwater to his eyes, then comes up with a mouth full of water.

Feferi's eyes widen. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry! Just don't spit that at me!"

Raising a triumphant eyebrow, he turns his head and sprays the water away from them. "That's better."

They all dick around in the pool for a few hours, at one point having Jade get Dave to referee their long and intense chicken fight tournament (if you're wondering, the winning team is Sollux on Jade's shoulders). By the time they get out, and Kanaya and Roxy finish bringing them all towels and scolding their respective palemates for being irresponsible, the sun has already gone down and no one can see well enough to pitch a tent. So, upon Karkat's idea, they just decide to stay at the poolside fire pit for the night.

Wrapped up in blankets, the four of them had just finished eating hot dogs when Jade looks around in confusion. “Where’s the stuff to make s'mores?”

“Some more of what, Jade?” Her moirail tilts her head at her and frowns, not understanding the question. Karkat and Sollux stare at her blankly.

The human girl’s eyes go wide with astonishment. “Holy crap, you all never had s'mores on Alternia? That’s so sad!” she gasps, scrambling up and giving them a hastened grin. “Okay, I’m gonna make this happen. You guys and gills- girls- stay right here, I’ll be back in just a minute!”

Jade is not gone for just a minute, but exactly eighteen minutes, her return emphasized by her panting and the added drama of holding something behind her back. Both of the boys are simultaneously glad that it's dark, because the looks on their faces are declaring outright adoration- The enthusiasm Jade is exuding is infectious, and the promise of something new to try is making Feferi bounce in her seat by the fire. They are curious, though, and raise their eyebrows at the Harley girl expectantly.

She plops down abruptly and reveals her treasures- graham crackers, and two other things that none of the trolls are familiar with. This is indicated by Karkat taking the brown-wrapped rectangle from her and frowning, struggling to read in English and in the dark all at once. “What’s…cholate?”

“It’s pronounced _chocolate_ ,” she corrects, taking it back so that it won’t melt in its current proximity to the fire. “Jeez. So I guess none of you have had marshmallows, either?”

“Huh?” There is a number of twitching ears and furrowed brows. Jade sighs.

“I had heard trolls had very little as far as sweets were concerned. Well then this will be even more of a treat!”

She opens the graham cracker box and distributes two to each of them, then to herself. Next, she opens the chocolate bar and breaks off four pieces with a warning of “Don’t let it melt, and don’t eat anything yet,” before taking four marshmallows out of the bag and jabbing them onto the sticks that had been used for the hot dogs, and handing those out accordingly. She shows them how to hold the marshmallows over the fire until they turn brown and stack it with the piece of chocolate into a sandwich. They do so, and take hesitant bites of the strange food under her attentive eyes.

Sollux, Feferi and Karkat’s eyes widen, and they down the rest of their allotted s'mores ravenously, making chirping noises that are the troll response meant to signify approval and pleasant surprise.

“Holy fucking shit this is the best thing I’ve ever tasted,” Sollux moans with his mouth full, once he’s ensured that the chocolate doesn’t have the same effect as mind honey. “I think I may go into the best coma imaginable right now.”

The two other trolls just nod and chew with dilated pupils and amazed smiles, and Jade giggles.

After eating about a dozen more s’mores, though, she has to convince them to stop.

 

______________

 

"So...I think it's Feferi's turn to ask someone something."

After eating they had decided to play truth or dare (once Jade had assured that the human version was _not_ deadly), and so far things had been pretty tame ("I dare you to eat dirt!" "Do you have a blackrom crush?"). But then again, they had just started. 

The heiress wriggles excitedly. "Okay! Um...Karcrab," she drawls, and her victim winces. "Truth or dare?"

"Uh. Truth?" Karkat opts for the safe route, hunching one shoulder. 

Feferi smirks broadly at him. "Okay, Mr. NubbyHorns. Is the old horn/bulge theory true for you, too?"

"The what?" Jade asks, just as the mutant blushes brightly and squirms, his eyes averting the rest of the group.

Sollux answers for him, smirking as well. "There's a theory that states that a troll's horns serve as compensation for the size of their bulge," he explains bemusedly. "So what FF is basically asking is if KK has a big dick."

"I haven't found a time that it's been wrong," Feferi defends cheerfully.

Jade snickers, glad to be in on the joke, and nudges Karkat playfully, "Ooh! I can't wait to hear this answer."

It takes a bit of heated staring and a couple of seconds, but after a moment he looks at the fire in embarrassment and nods, his cheeks red. The response is met with snide grins. 

"Sea, that wasn't so difficult," the fuchsia blood giggles. 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. For an asexual, you sure are fucking fascinated with people's bulges. Alright, it's my turn." Karkat grumbles a little. "Okay. Sollux, truth or dare?"

The answer is instantaneous. "Dare." He and Jade high five.

It takes a minute for him to come up with one, but he finally comes to a decision. His eyes glint mischievously. "I dare you to...give me your phone so I can see your internet history."

Sollux's response is somewhat disappointing. He eyes Karkat over his glasses, then shrugs, pulling out his phone and handing it to him without protest. Feferi and Jade quickly gather around, and the next ten minutes consist of horrified gasps, snorts, and the asexual troll attempting not to retch. The psionic is smacked in the face with numerous pillows, but the almost proud grin on his face persists, and the rest of the party finally gives up with blushes on their faces.

It's Jade's turn. "Alright Jade- I assume you want a dare?"

She nods eagerly.

"Okay..." Sollux's gaze wanders as he thinks, and he notes her dog ears. "You like some dog stuff now, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

He smirks. "Does that include peanut butter?"

The white, fluffy hearhandles perk up, and he takes that as a yes. "Ha, okay, I've got one. I dare you to lick peanut butter off of KK's face."

Jade actually sighs in relief, whilst Karkat looks at him with wide eyes. "That's easy!" she scoffs. "I thought you were gonna say someplace _else_ on him."

"Aw shit, I wanna change the dare," Sollux whines. "Why didn't I think of that before?"

She shakes her head, smiling. "Sorry. Missed your chance."

"Fuuuuck. Would you have still done it?"

"...Maybe, maybe not," Jade says, winking, and Karkat makes a creaky noise.

Feferi does the honors of getting the peanut butter, slathering Karkat's cheeks and neck with it using a plastic knife. He sits stiffly, blushing generously, and mutters about what bullshit the whole situation is. The heiress finishes her work with a beam in his direction, sitting beside Sollux before nodding that the dog-girl might proceed. "I'll try not to slobber on you or anything," she laughs, kneeling beside him.

Karkat shifts uncomfortably. "Whatever. Just get on with it already." His tone is surprisingly quiet.

Jade shrugs, and moves her hair over one shoulder, then licks a stripe up from his collar to under his jaw. He shudders. "F-fuck," he chokes, then quickly recovers by adding, "th-that feels so weird." His slip-up is only recognized by Sollux, who smirks knowingly at him, but Feferi giggles too. Soon enough, though, Karkat gradually relaxes, purring softly and leaning back on his arms. He even chuckles when her tongue moves to his cheeks, even if it's embarrassed, his cheeks hot.

The rest of the game ends when they're too tired to continue, after they had to run from Vriska and Terezi when they dared Feferi to walk in during their amorous activities to grab some markers and act like it was nothing. ("Oh, hull-o gills. Sorry, I just need this box of Sharpies. Thanks!") Deciding that it's too hot for sleeping bags, they nab a few sheets and pillows from inside and get ready to bed down for the night. Feferi and Jade, what with being moirails and all, insist on sleeping beside each other. At first this poses as a setback for the boys, but Sollux quickly comes up with a plan.

"I'm so not sleeping next to KK- asshole's like a furnace, and I'm already pretty damn warmblooded as it is." He crosses his arms over his chest.

The girls ponder over this for a minute. There's only a few blankets, and limited space, so it's not like they can spread out all _that_ much. But Feferi grins. "That's okay! One of us is a cooler blooded ocean dweller, remember?" She pats the space beside her. "I won't overheat you."

"Oh. Okay," Sollux replies, shrugging, although he remembers that fact quite well. Karkat resists the obscene desire to applaud, and just settles next to Jade.

"You better not be one of those petulant ass nozzles that snores, or can't lie still or something." He warns her glaringly. "This isn't a sopor tub, all that bullshit can't be stifled on the godamn ground."

She is patient in letting him finish ranting before answering. "It's okay, I'm not." She smiles sleepily at him. "Do you mind if we cuddle?"

_Holy fucking shit, that's a fantastic idea._ "If it'll shut you up, fine." He suppresses another heated blush as she grins and snuggles up to him, her head against his chest and hand on his arm. His arm wraps around her waist gingerly, the other under the pillow, their legs entangling below the knees.

Feferi, however, is a bit more forward. As soon as Sollux lies down, she lays on his torso and pulls a blanket over them both. 

"Uh. Well then." Even the ever-straight faced gold blood tenses in surprise, the faintest trace of a blush on his cheeks. His hands hover uncertainly. 

She giggles into his neck. "Sealy. You're warm."

"Um. I- yeah, I know. So you're...just gonna sit on me?"

A small nod. "Yep! Unless I'm hurting you or somefin." Her arms wrap around his neck.

Sollux hesitates, then winds his arms around her and sighs, trying his best to sound resigned. "No, it's fine."

None of them said anything after that. Karkat began to purr quietly again, nuzzling Jade's head with his cheek, and a small smile spreads on Sollux's face. Their breathing slowed, and some time later they fell asleep.

Only after they've been asleep for quite some time do the girls slowly open their eyes. Jade carefully inquires her moirail in the faintest of whispers.

"Do you think that they know we invited them out with us today to try to hint that we like them?"

Feferi's lips twist. "I don't think so."

"Jeez...do you think that they might like us back?" the human asks, hope vaguely showing in her voice.

"I hope they do. We'll just have to keep finding ways to be able to spend time with them."

Jade and Feferi then fall asleep, and dream of their flush crushes.

Karkat and Sollux have a lot in common. But above everything, they are both horns over heels with girls they think they can't attain, and are very, very oblivious.


End file.
